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Monday, September 15, 2008

Men Versus Women

if emma, suzanne, debra and michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other emma, suzanne, debra and michelle. but if mike, phil, rob and jack go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as fat boy, godzilla, peanut-head and useless.

Eating out:
when the bill arrives, mike, phil, rob and jack will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want changeback. when the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

The Phone:
men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

a man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the holiday inn. the average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. a man would not be able to identify most of these items.

a woman has the last word in any argument. anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. a successful woman is one who can find such a man.

a woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. a man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

to their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It is a pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she will put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Dressing up:
a woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. a man will dress up for weddings, funerals.

men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. women somehow deteriorate during the night.

ah, children. a woman knows all about her children. she knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. a man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


Nami said...

hmm..very thoughtful.

not men yang macam u cakap.

definition of my sucsess is to find happiness.

apa guna sen kat poket banyak tapi life macam tenuk kelaparan?

p/s:susah tol nak kentot kat page u ni,anyway comment kat page i http://tehtarikgelasbesar.blogspot.com

EykaHamasuba said...

hahaha. bende ni copy paste je.. ade steng yang betul ade yang macam tak btul je. hehe